A Man and His Bernard Matthews: The Projection Skip to main content

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The Purging of the Great Thorns

The sun was not merely a ball of burning gas to the folk of the Sandleford Warren; it was Frith, the Great Eye, the golden source of all life and the witness to every twitch of a whisker. But on this day, the air felt heavy, tasting of ozone and the cold, sharp scent of worked iron. Fiver, the small, twitching seer of the rabbits, sat atop the Honeycomb, his ears flat against his back. "It’s coming, Hazel", he whispered, his voice trembling like a leaf in a gale. "A great white light. Not the light of Frith that warms the fur, but a light that eats the world. Man has grown too clever. He has stolen the fire from the center of the earth and pointed it at the sky". Hazel looked toward the horizon. He couldn’t see the, "Great Thorns"—the long, silver cylinders Man had hidden in the ground—but he felt the vibration in his paws. The world of men was screaming. They had built machines that could turn the grass to ash and the rivers to steam. They were ready ...
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A Man and His Bernard Matthews: The Projection

The frigid air of the frozen food aisle at ASDA was a welcome reprieve from the sweltering heat outside. I shivered slightly as I scanned the shelves, searching for the perfect Bernard Matthews product to satisfy my cravings. I knew this wasn't the most glamorous of tasks, but it was a necessary one.



As I picked out a pack of turkey drummers, a woman passed by with her cart, giving me a disapproving look. I couldn't blame her, I was probably the only person in the entire store with a shopping list solely consisting of Bernard Matthews products. But I didn't care. I had to have them, no matter what anyone else thought.

Next on my list was Morrisons, a few streets away. I hurried through the aisles, picking up turkey burgers and turkey escalopes. I couldn't help but wonder if Waitrose carried any Bernard Matthews products, but quickly dismissed the thought. Waitrose was too posh for my beloved processed meats.

As I made my way to the checkout, I couldn't help but feel a tinge of guilt. Was my love for Bernard Matthews products a guilty pleasure? Maybe, but I didn't care. They were a taste of my childhood, and I couldn't imagine giving them up.

But as I loaded my individual bag of Bernard products into the trolley, I couldn't help but wonder if there was a more refined way to enjoy my favorite foods. Maybe I could find them at Waitrose, or even Ocado. But then again, maybe that wasn't the point. Some things were just meant to be simple, uncomplicated pleasures. And for me, that was Bernard Matthews products.

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